How Anxiety Shows Up in Everyday Life

Anxiety isn’t necessarily panic attacks or constant worry. For many people, it shows up through the nervous system’s fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses — automatic survival patterns that influence how we react to stress, relationships, and even our own bodies.

Understanding these responses can make anxiety feel less confusing and far more workable.

Am I in Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn?

Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are reflexive responses that activate when your nervous system senses threat–even if the perceived threat isn’t actually dangerous.

Our nervous systems don’t differentiate well between real danger and perceived threat. Stress, conflict, health worries, uncertainty, or even internal sensations can activate these responses — even when you’re objectively safe. 

• Fight – A “fight” fear response commonly develops when someone learned they need to stay alert or strong to feel safe. In daily life, fight often looks like tension, irritability, or control. You might feel easily overstimulated or have a strong need to control outcomes. In a moment of fear, you may feel tightness in the jaw, shoulders, or chest.
• Flight – Flight isn’t always physical escape — it’s often mental. Many people with chronic anxiety live in this mode, engaging in avoidance and increased busyness. You could struggle to relax, seeking productivity to feel good about yourself (hello productivity culture). Overthinking, mental looping, and seeking distractions may be how you cope.
• Freeze – Freeze occurs when the nervous system feels overwhelmed and unable to fight or flee. It can look like shutting down or feeling stuck. You may experience numbness or brain fog, making it difficult to make decisions in your daily life. Procrastination is a characteristic of the freeze response. Freeze is often mistaken for laziness or depression because it can show up as low energy or motivation, but it’s actually a protective response.
• Fawn – Fawn prioritizes connection to maintain safety and may include people-pleasing behaviors. You may be over-accommodating and struggle to set boundaries out of fear of disappointing others. Doing these things often minimizes your own needs. Many people who fawn appear calm on the outside while feeling anxious internally.

Why Coping Skills Don’t Always Resolve Anxiety

Many anxiety strategies focus on managing symptoms — calming down, reframing thoughts, or pushing through discomfort. While helpful, these tools don’t always address the nervous system patterns driving anxiety.

Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are responses rooted in the body, not just thoughts. This is why anxiety can persist even when you logically know you’re safe.

Most people move between fight, flight, freeze, and fawn depending on stress, relationships, and life circumstances. Anxiety isn’t random — it’s patterned. This also explains why anxiety can change form over time rather than disappear completely.

How Therapy Can Help With Anxiety

Effective anxiety treatment works at the nervous system level, not just symptom control.

In my work as an anxiety therapist in Lawrence, Kansas, I help clients:

• Identify their dominant nervous system patterns
• Understand what their anxiety is protecting them from
• Expand their window of tolerance and capacity
• Work with body-based cues rather than fighting them
• Build internal safety, not just coping strategies

Over time, clients experience less reactivity and a greater trust in themselves.

Anxiety is not a flaw – it is information. 

If anxiety has been running your life, you’re not broken — and with the right support, change is possible. Want to connect to learn how I can help? Go here.